Cruisin'...

Last thing and the Mighty ZZR is ready to rock-n-roll all the way to Canada and back (with scheduled stops in Rocky Mountain National Park, the Grand Tetons, Yellowstone, Glacier, the Little Bighorn, Mount Rushmore, Devil's Tower, the Black Hills, and anything else interesting I find along the way!): cruise control.

More accurately called "throttle locks," I've never been a real big fan of cruise control on my bikes. I still remember Gary Miller (you out there reading this, Gary?) accidentally engaging the throttle lock on his KLR while off-pavement in Arkansas a few years ago. He wound up taking a wild (albeit brief) ride into a ditch, damaging his knee, and spending the rest of the weekend icing it down instead of riding. Of course, the bar end types that you have to give a real good twist (like the Throttlemeister unit shown above on my ZZR), versus the type where you simply thumb down a lever, aren't easily engaged by accident, so I'm not particularly worried about being a goober like Gary. (Now that I'm calling him names, someone will tell him and he'll come read the blog ... that's my theory anyway.) I mean, that sounds like something ZRod would do. (There, maybe I'll gain another reader. Ha!)

There's something about having the throttle out of my control that unnerves me. It's nice to be able to shake the numbness out of your throttle hand on those long straights. Flex your fingers. Scratch your right leg. But I'm always a bit leery of having the bike hurtling along at my usual speeds without my hand right there ready to shut it down. Things happen fast on a motorcycle. Think about it: at my usual ZZR cruising speed of 100 mph (okay, so maybe I should slow down, eh?) that's almost 147 feet passing under my wheels every second. If it takes me 2 seconds to put my hand back on the throttle and disengage the lock, that's almost the length of a football field that I've covered -- more than enough time to hit a deer or t-bone a careless soccer mom's minivan -- and I haven't even started braking yet!

The other thing that's always bugged me about throttle locks is that they're not a true cruise control. On long, straight, level stretches of road, you cruise along just fine at a steady speed, but how often am I on that type of road? The Interstate is about all I can think of that qualifies (well, okay, so there's also Highway 50 in Nevada and every bit of pavement in Kansas), but I avoid riding the Interstate (and Kansas) at all costs, generally only grabbing the superslab for when I just want to get home lickity-split quick. And at those times, when I'm really hauling ass, I'm generally the least comfortable locking my throttle. All it would take is some bonehead coming over into my lane as I flew past him. Most roads, of course, have grades -- up, down, up down -- and on those roads your bike is either speeding up or slowing down the whole time with the throttle locked. I find that very aggravating. It grates to no end on my anal-retentive, obsessive-compulsive, need-to-be-in-control-dammit! mentality.

So, if I'm not a big fan of throttle locks, why did I just put one on my bike for this trip? Well, there are those times, when road and traffic conditions permit, that it's nice to engage it for a minute or two in order to give your hand a break. Especially on a ride like the one I have coming up, one that covers so many miles and will see me on the road for 11 days straight. But, more to the point, it's been 3 or 4 weeks now since I followed Cricket up that nasty hill at CrossTimbers, got thrown off my dirtbike, and landed on my right thumb. The damn thing still won't bend like it should and aches incessantly. Yeah, I should have had it x-rayed, and it ought to be in a splint or a cast or something, I guess. But then I couldn't ride at all! I would, in fact, have to postpone the trip ... and that just ain't gonna happen.

I might be riding all the way to Canada with my throttle lock engaged and my thumb stuffed in a bag of ice. LOL.

Wish me luck.

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Photo Note: Yeah, I know that's the clutch side (in the photo above), so technically you're not even looking at the actual throttle lock, but that's the bar end that had the Throttlemeister logo on it, so I featured it instead. The throttle side looks exactly the same (you can see it in the photos below). While they're not cheap (for the ZZR, the cost is $125), in my opinion, the Throttlemeisters are the nicest and most functional cruise control on the market. I had them on my original Triumph Tiger and also have them now on the new Tiger.

Poor Man's Cruise Control: Don't want to spend $125 for cruise control? Being a cheap SOB myself, I can relate. Here's an option for you. It worked for me for years. This is a Caterpillar o-ring. I used to have the part number, but I've long since lost it. Probably doesn't matter; if you walk into the Caterpillar place and tell them what you're looking for, they've probably sold more of these to motorcycle owners than anyone else, so they'll know what you need. The o-ring is sized just right to slip over most motorcycle bar ends. If you slip it into the space between the bar end and the lower edge of the grip, friction will lock your throttle in place. To disengage, just use your palm to roll it back down onto the bar end. I've used these on various motorcycles with mixed results. Eventually, it tends to let your throttle slip a bit, so you have to make minor adjustments while riding. Since I never leave my throttle locked for very long anyway, the slipping was never a real big deal for me -- your tolerance/aggravation may vary. Here are a couple photos with the o-ring on the bar (disengaged) and slipped into the groove (engaged). [Addendum: the Caterpillar part number for that o-ring is 8M-4991.]




Another Option: I often use a Throttle Rocker on my bikes. By allowing you to stay on the gas by using the weight of your hand focused through your palm (versus actually gripping the throttle), it greatly reduces hand fatigue. Trust me, this is the best $11 you'll ever spend on your motorcycle. Just remember to remove it when you hit the twisty stuff, as it does tend to get in the way of the really fine throttle adjustments required to be fast and smooth in the curves. Again, here's a photo:


Safety Disclaimer: Use any of these things at your own risk, of course. I ain't responsible if you go out, lock your throttle, plow into a barn or fly off the side of a cliff at 100 miles per hour, and remove yourself from the gene pool. These things probably make riding a motorcycle even more dangerous that your mama already told you it was...