What are the odds I can stay out in front of it...?

Oy vey!

Where's my leaky rain gear? Where's my hail-proof helmet? Where's Toto?

"The Road Beckons..."

Seems the Beemer and I are always going through this ... What to take? What to leave behind? Is the bike ready? Am I? As usual, my pool table becomes a staging area.

The forecast calls for rain, both here in Oklahoma and in northwestern Arkansas. On a positive note, it appears we'll have much warmer weather than we usually have for the Hillbilly Dualsport Rally in Eureka Springs. Wasn't it just last year that I awoke to three or four inches of snow on the morning of departure? No snow in the forecast this year. In fact, the weathermen are predicting temps in the low seventies. Best to pack warm gear, though, even if I don't wind up needing it. Even without the threat of rain, there are a lot of water crossings in the Ozarks, and I get cold when I'm wet.

I'll be riding out with my friend Chris Marlow. He'll be on his DR-Z400, so our speeds won't be anything to brag about -- call it a nice, liesurely ride for my 650cc Dakar ... plenty of time to snap some pics and admire the scenery. Both of us are rehearsing for our Copper Canyon run just two weeks away. (We'll only have one weekend to turn around the bikes: oil changes, tires, air filters, any necessary repairs, etc.) Packing is especially critical for Chris because space is at a premium on the little DR-Z. I've got it much easier on the BMW. Even so, I'm carrying things I don't usually take, just to see how well I can pack the bike, things like spare clutch and throttle cables, spare levers, etc -- things that could leave me crippled on the side of the road in Mexico in the event of a failure, at the mercy of los banditos. I'd hoped to have a new battery installed by now, but the one I ordered is still on backorder, as are several trick components from Touratech (folding brake pedal, offroad chain guide, and an oil-type air filter to replace the BMW's paper cartridge). Maybe some of it will arrive before we leave for Mexico. At the very least, I'd like to get rid of the BMW's acid-type battery, which has already boiled over on me once.

Danny will meet us in Arkansas (after trailering up with his wife). He'll be going through the same sort of thing with his XR650L, making sure it's ready for Mexico. The final rider for our Copper Canyon adventure, Rich Desmond, won't be playing with us in Arkansas this time around. He's got something else going on down in Texas with his Concours-riding buddies.

The four of us have been planning this Mexico trip for a long time. I'm glad the departure date is nearly upon us.

But for now ... Arkansas, here we come. David Hemphill, the Kansas rider responsible for this rally, is predicting a record-breaking crowd. Last I heard, there were more than 50 rooms reserved at the primary hotel -- and some riders will undoubtedly choose different digs or camp out.

I look forward to meeting up with old dualsporting friends and making new ones.

"C is for CBR1000RR..."

Had you been in the truck with me on the way back from Dallas today, you would have caught sight of something drop-dead-gorgeous lurking in my rear view mirror.


Just an hour or so before, you would have seen my buddy Greg and I loading her ever so carefully into the back of my pickemup.


And yesterday, had you been lurking on the backroads west of Fort Worth, you might have seen the two of us when we left the Honda dealership to put the first 375 miles on the odometers of our brand spanking new speed-demon siblings. I promise we broke the new mounts in real gentle like, though ... We only did 140 mph on that first day of riding. Heh heh.


Now she's safely tucked away -- where else? -- in my living room, of course!



Where she makes an excellent seat from which to watch motoGP races!


You don't think Rossi won that on his own, do you? He had me right there leaning with him!


Of course, Summer thinks the CBR is just the right size for her.


Stay tuned ... 2007 is shaping up to be a very exciting year!

"Are You Ready For This...?"

Pulling into my driveway when I came home from work today, I noticed all the pretty blossoms on our Japanese something-or-other tree and realized that "spring has sprung." The tree wasn't my only reminder, though; I'm beginning to see a lot more motorcycles on the road as all the seasonal riders uncover their steeds, blow off the cobwebs, and hit the mean streets. Though my own bikes get ridden year round, I realize not everyone is as hardcore as I am. Many bikes are forced to hibernate through the winter, sullenly slumbering through the drab brown months with their bellies full of stabilizer, their dreaming brains tickled by battery tenders, and their thickening lifeblood pooled morosely into sump pans. Grizzlies in waiting. Summer friends.

But now ... now here comes the sun and the green shoots of Bermuda thrust up through the dead heather of winter. Spring storms will soon inspire wildflowers to bloom. In southern states, women are revealing far more than they should in exchange for cheap plastic beads made in China ... All clear indicators of motorcycle-friendly weather!

Before you jump on that two-wheeled beauty, fire it up, and roar off through the neighborhood, however, make sure the bike's actually ready for the road. Check the tires for proper inflation and adequate tread. Check all the fluid levels (oil, coolant, brakes, battery, etc). Run a quick test of all the electrics: turn signals, horn, lights; in particular, make sure the brakelight comes on when you apply the brakes. Inspect fittings and hoses. Look for loose fasteners and inspect your chain: is the tension correct, does it need lubricated? Make sure your throttle and clutch cable move freely and smoothly; if not, lube them. How about your brakes; are the pads in good shape? Does your air filter need replaced or cleaned and oiled? Make sure no critters have taken up residence in the exhaust, air box, or even under the seat. When you saddle up for the first time, check the adjustment of your mirrors and take a moment to refamiliarize yourself with the controls; you don't want to be fumbling for the horn button when a careless driver, having gone all winter without worrying too much about motorcycles on the road, cuts into your lane.

You might also take some time to give your riding gear a quick once-over. If you haven't ridden in a few months, take it slow and easy at first; make sure you're not rusty. Find a vacant parking lot if necessary and chalk off some imaginary cones.

When your bike and you are ready, enjoy the ride!

And don't forget to return my wave when we pass.

---

Have a suggestion or tip for prepping your bike in the spring? Please share it with the rest of us by using the comment feature below!

"B is for Beginners..."

We all have to start somewhere...

Rumors that I am about to add a liter-class sportbike to my riding stable have spurred a desire to do the same amongst nieces and nephews in the Hopkins clan. Since we're talking about brand new or at best inexperienced riders, my mother has understandably become a bit alarmed. I'm sure her memories of me, 26 years ago, in a hospital for 7 weeks and in a cast for nearly a year, are still very vivid. And even now, she probably harbors a little fear every time she sees me leave her driveway on one of my bikes.

Since I have this public forum (a handy soapbox, if you will), I thought I would share a paragraph or two from my emails with her, by way of advice for those who are considering taking up the two-wheeled way of life.

Tell them children to start with DIRTBIKES. There's no one on the trails in 2-ton, 4-wheeled vehicles trying to run you over, and the dirt is generally forgiving. Heck, I wrapped myself around a tree yesterday and only have a few scrapes and bruises to show for it. (Of course, Danny kept on going, while I lay there pinned under my bike up against the tree. "Come back, Danny, come back..." He eventually realized I wasn't there anymore and stopped ... about 500 yards down the trail. Then he teased me about it when I caught up to him, said he was sorry he hadn't gotten a picture of me under the bike. That's okay, 5 seconds later, he wiped out in a big mud puddle. I pulled up beside him, splashing him some more, looked down at him and his bike laying there in the ooey-gooey mud, and asked him if I could borrow his camera. His response shall be edited 'cause I don't use those words around my mama. LOL.)

Nobody really needs CBR1000RR kinda power on the street. It's a race bike. It's not comfortable to ride for more than an hour or two. You can't really carry a passenger. You can't carry anything you can't fit in your pockets or a small bag on the tank. If you drop it in the garage, you're looking at $1000 in damage just in plastic and paint. It will eat tires faster than my ZZR does (less than 4,000 miles for a rear tire!). Maintenance costs a fortune if you're not doing it yourself. The low, narrow profile and small head/tail lights don't make it a safe bike. If drivers don't see my monstrous bright orange tiger coming down the road at sane speeds, they sure ain't gonna see this tiny little rocket coming down the road at hyper speeds. Experienced riders only need apply here. Someone who wants to race perhaps and doesn't even plan to use it on the street. Nuts like me that have plenty of other bikes for other purposes...

To which the general response was: "Then why is Uncle BAH getting one?" (which I actually thought I answered rather well in that email. To wit: experience, a wide selection of other bikes to ride on more sane missions, and the fact that I'm nuts). A soon-to-be nephew-in-law actually replied with the fact that he had two years riding experience, which ain't bad at all, but I've known plenty of people for whom "two years experience" equates to maybe 4,000 miles of saddle time, if they're lucky. Just scratching the surface, in other words.

My reply to my mother:

I thought everyone knew my motto: "Do as bah says and not as bah does." LOL.

Two years experience, eh? In motorcycle years (kinda like dog years only in reverse), that's a couple days. I've been riding motorcycles since I was 19 or 20 ... what is that, 26 years or so? ... and am still not the rider I want to be. I've been taken down by cars, deer, uneven railroad tracks, oil, curbs, sidewalks*, and I forget what all else -- and that's not counting all my offroad spills. You have to remain 100% focused 100% of the time, leaving behind all the work and family crap that might be bugging you at the time; there's room for nothing in your brain but riding when you're riding, otherwise someone will kill you. Around each corner there's always someone about to pull out in front of you, turn left in front of you, take your lane from you ... or there's a dog who wants to cross the street ... or a bit of sand in a turn that will take your front tire out from under you and send you sliding into a guardrail that would like to slice your leg off at the knee. You have to have an extreme amount of self control (especially with a sportbike) and know when and where you can ride fast; the difference between fast and too fast on a motorcycle is just a couple millimeters of additional rotation on that throttle. Yes, you can drive too fast in a car, but a car doesn't transition from fast to too fast in a second.

The smart way to start is to get a small standard bike (what they call a "naked bike" these days) or one of the beginner's sportbikes like a Ninja 250 or Ninja 500 -- or the new 650R that Kawasaki just came out with (not a 600 or 1000cc sportbike). Or start with a small dualsport like the XT225, DR200SE, KLX250S, or the DR-Z400, which adds the benefit of being able to ride offroad. (I wish I had STARTED offroad because while riding in the dirt you are always on the edge of control or past it, which develops all the skills you need to instinctively handle a streetbike when it's out of control. People used to tell me that riding offroad would make me a better streetbike rider, and they were absolutely correct!) All of these are inexpensive bikes, so when you drop it in the garage then drop it on the other side trying to pick it up, you won't feel so bad. They're reliable and fairly easy to maintain. They don't eat tires. Hold their value really well and are easy to resell. Get incredible gas mileage ... and so on. They're all great fun to ride without being "scary fast." Someone should ride one of these bikes for a year or two ... develop some basic skills ... learn to read traffic and drivers ... then move up.

Anyway, for whatever it's worth, there's my advice to new riders. It's certainly not original to me. Ask anyone who's logged a significant number of miles on streetbikes and their advice will be similar.

Sure, we all have to start riding somewhere ... but this is just too embarrassing!

*None of my buddies will let me forget that one.

Destination: Wichita Mountains, Mount Scott, Meers

With clear blue skies and a new bike in my garage, it seemed a shame to spend Saturday on yard work or oil changes or listening to "How to Hable Espanole" tapes (in preparation for my Copper Canyon trip next month). A ride was definitely in order!

What better way to spend the day than riding with a couple good friends? Danny and his wife Kim, two up on their R1200GS, joined me for a spirited ride down to the Wichita Mountains in southwestern Oklahoma. Atop Mount Scott, we rendevued with my friends Greg and Elaine who had ridden their brand new Goldwing up from Irving, TX. The five of us then rode to Meers, where we joined a large crowd of other merry motorcyclists for BBQ. Leaving Meers, our bellies bulging, we toured the giant windmills singing away in the stout Oklahoma wind. There was ice cream on the ride home to top it all off.

What a great day!

Meers, Oklahoma ... home of the famous Meers Burger and some of the best damn BBQ in the state. Park right outside the door with every brand of motorcycle imaginable. Be sure to bring your appetite!

Windmills hum busily atop a ridge overlooking the Oklahoma prairie, cranking out mega jiggywatts for your flux capacitor, dilithium crystals, and whatever else sparks your spinach.

"Orange You Glad You Came?" (or "Whazzat Orange Thang in the Back of Yer Pickemup, Brian?")

Well, just weeks after saying I missed my old Tiger, fate and the generosity of some dear sweet friends in Texas have conspired to put another Triumph Tiger in my riding stable. I'm here to tell you that it really is true what they say about karma, folks.

She's a bonafide, shade-of-Tigger beauty, Florida sunshine bright, Calvin and Hobbes inspirational goodness. Anita Bryant herself probably polished that O-R-A-N-G-E luster.

As I rolled her down off the back of the truck and into the garage, she leaned over to the Beemer: "Psssst! Hey, buddy, what's it like around here?"

"You're gonna love it," said the Dakar, reassuringly. "We get worlds of attention and go for rides nearly every day, rain or shine -- even in the freakin' snow!"

"Great!" said the Tiger (imitating Tony, of course).

"Yeah," said the ZZR, stirring from her slumber-spot beneath a cover, "life is good here." Then the big Kawasaki's voice dropped to a whisper: "But, uh, I don't mean to alarm you or anything ... but you might want to ask what happened to the first Tiger he brought home."

Heh heh.