"Everything But the Kitchen Sink..."

While most of you are enjoying leftovers from the Christmas goose, I'll be hitting the road.

With two weeks of time off from "the dreaded day job" (that dispiriting slice of Hell I endure in order to pay for my motorcycles), I know I'll go apeshit if I stick around the house. Even without the wife's "So, where do you think you'll go while you're off work?" (note she says "where," not "if"), I know she's hoping I'm leaving (without committing the insult of actually saying so) and wondering if she could endure having me at home for that length of time any more than I could endure being here. If Horton hears a Who around my house on the day after Christmas, it'll be the neighbors asking "Who was that masked man who just blazed out of here at 120 miles an hour?" (Actually, scratch that last bit. The neighbors will know good and well who it was.) The wife will tell me how much she's going to miss me, give me a peck on the cheek, and make me promise to be careful, but I know when the garage door drops behind me it'll be masking a huge sigh of relief. Thank God, I won't have to put up with his sorry ass moping around the house! And me, I'm off on another motorcycle adventure, just about the only thing that stirs my tired old soul anymore.

So ... win-win situation all around, right? That's what I tell myself. Such is the state of things when you've been hanging out with the same person for 30 years. But I digress...

The packing for this trip will start several days in advance. I use my pool table as a staging area (my dreams of becoming satisfyingly good at billiards died long ago), slowly gathering all the items I'll need after carefully weighing gear options that vary on my decision about which bike to take, what the weather's going to be like, how long I'll be gone, etc. Over the years, I've built a pretty detailed checklist for my motorcycle traveling. If you haven't started one of your own, you should.

The most obvious place to start is the gear you'll be wearing while riding. Head to toe: helmet, jacket, gloves, riding pants, boots, etc. If I'm going to be out for more than a day or two, I'll wear a do-rag under my helmet, purely in the interest of keeping my helmet liner fresh. I also wear ear plugs when traveling to prevent that annoying ringing at the end of a long day. The type of helmet I take will vary on the type of riding I do: my Scorpion for street, my Arai XD for dualsport, my dirtbike helmet for pure offroad stuff. (Reading this article, you'll discover rather quickly that I'm something of a "gear whore.") If I'm taking my XD or dirtbike helmet, my checklist will remind me to pack my goggles. Since I generally travel with a tinted helmet visor, I'll pack a clear one for those times I'm caught out at night or in a storm.

My jacket and pants decision varies on the type of bike I'm taking, the length of the trip, type of riding I'll be doing, and so forth. Do I want leather or textile? For a spirited sportbike outing, I'm apt to go with leather -- because roadrash really, really sucks and the risk of me acquiring some is higher when chasing some of my crazy friends through the twisties -- but my textile gear is generally better for touring or dualsport rides. If I'm wearing leather, my checklist reminds me to take rain gear. Gloves: I generally take more than one pair. Which ones I choose, again, depends on the type of riding and the weather. Under the category Riding Gear, my checklist also includes a hydration pack and 'cycling shorts -- the padded type that bicyclists wear. These come in pretty handy when you spend the entire day on your rump. Monkeybutt is no laughing matter. (Well, it is, but only if you're talking about someone else's butt.)

Your checklist might start out something like this (as mine does):

• boots
• Camelbac
• clear helmet visor
• 'cycling shorts
• do-rag
• ear plugs
• gloves
• helmet
• jacket
• pants
• rain suit

Yes, it might seem a little silly to have things like riding pants on your checklist -- after all, you're certainly not going to ride off in your underwear, so it's not like you'll forget your pants -- but it helps me make the decisions about my trip when I see such things on my list. And, yeah, you're right, I have become a bit retentive in my old age (which, in case you didn't notice, is the reason the items above are listed in alphabetical order).


To this, we add the usual assortment of socks and underwear and toiletries and so forth. I don't think you need me to go into that stuff. It's more-or-less the same stuff you'd throw in a suitcase for any other type of trip. Don't forget your toothbrush! In the summer, you'll want to remember sunscreen, insect repellent, and your swimsuit. A ball cap will spare your vanity the dreaded condition known as "helmet hair," and if you have no hair, it'll keep you from burning your scalp.

If it's winter, the Winter Only category of my checklist kicks in with:

• balaclava
• electric gloves (never use them, but since I have a pair they haunt my checklist)
  
• electric vest (and the detachable sleeves, even though I rarely use them)
• jacket liner
• stocking cap (for when the helmet comes off and I want my head to stay warm)
  
• sweatshirt (a handy underlayer for when it gets really cold)
  
• thermal underwear
• wool socks (my feet get cold when riding)

If I'll be offroad, I'll augment my gear with the aforementioned goggles, as well as a chest protector (actually my Six Six One body armor), a Buff (you've seen these on the TV show Survivor) for keeping the dust out of my snoot, and my knee/shin guards (I've broken my lower extremities enough times, thank you very much).

The next category on my checklist is for tools, maintenance items, emergency repairs ... that sort of thing.

• air pump (mine plugs into an electrical outlet on my bike, but you can use a hand-pump if you prefer or enough CO2 cartridges to limp to a gas station)
• chain lube
• duct tape (Ask any Bubba: "Don't leave home without it!")
  
• electrical tape
• electrical wire
• first aid kit (in case it's you that needs repaired)
• flashlight
• JB Weld
  
• multi-tool (for those quick jobs when I don't feel like digging out the proper tool -- mine's made by Gerber, but there are a zillion on the market these days)
• rags
• owner's/repair manual (you probably have this stashed under your seat anyway)
• safety wire
• Slime tire sealant (I only carry it for tube-type tires, even though they also make it for tubeless tires)
• spare key (nothing worse than misplacing the key to your bike when you're a thousand miles from home -- if you're traveling with a buddy, trade keys with him; if not, stash yours someplace accessible, separate from the key you're using in the ignition)
  
• spare tire tubes (many folks get by with carrying just one, but I like to carry a spare for both the front and rear of my bike -- naturally, you can leave this off if you're riding on tubeless tires)
• spares (an assortment of things you think you might need for your bike: throttle and/or clutch cables/levers, a quart of oil for your leaky Harley-Davidson, bulbs, spark plugs, etc)
  
• tie-down straps (Even when I have no plans to strap the bike to something, I like to carry a couple of these. First of all, my dualsport bike doesn't have a center stand and there have been times when I've used the straps to winch the bike in the air under a tree while I repaired a flat tire. Second, when your buddy runs out of gas, a couple tie-down straps make a handy tow rope.)
  
• tire gauge
• tire irons (I carry three)
  
• tire repair kit (patches for tubed, plugs for tubeless)
• tool kit (varies with the bike I choose -- most of the time you can get away with the cheapo tools supplied with the bike, but for serious traveling you'd better build your own kit)
• WD-40
• zip ties (you can fix anything with a zip tie)

Of course, navigation is critical (although getting lost can be fun). You might want to carry:

• GPS receiver
• guidebooks
  
• maps
  

Paperwork (the job's not finished until it's done, doncha know):

• calling card (the wife does require me to check in occasionally and I often find myself without a cell phone signal)
  
• cash (money talks!)
• credit card(s)
• id/driver's license/passport
• proof of insurance, title, registration, and other documentation for the bike
  

Electronics, how did we ever survive without them? Just don't forget spare batteries (or the chargers) for these items:

• camera
• cell phone
  
• laptop computer
  
• MP3 player and headphones
  

If I'm camping:

• folding chair
• hatchet (for pounding in stakes and addressing that recalcitrant root poking your back in the middle of the night)
• pillow (I never carry one, not even the inflatable kind, but it's on my checklist just so I can feel macho when I scratch through it with a gruff "Real men don't need a pillow!")
• sleeping bag
• sleeping pad
• tent and footprint (that thing you put under your tent to protect the bottom)

If you're not only camping, but cooking, you'll have a whole list of other things you'll need to carry. I don't cook. Ever. I'd rather do a Euell Gibbons on a pine tree than cook (link provided for the youngsters who don't even know who he was).

Miscellaneous stuff you might also want on your list:

• binoculars
  
• (a good) book*
• bottled water
  
• bungee cords/net
• cable lock (for locking your helmet, jacket, etc to the bike while hiking around in a National Park)
• notepad and pen
  
• rain cover for your tank/tail bag
• reading glasses (unless you're a young whippersnapper and don't need them)
• snacks
  
• sunglasses

And that ought to at least get you started. Naturally, you'll want to tailor my list to make it entirely your own. You might want to organize things in different categories. You might be afraid you'll forget clean underwear if they're not on the list (you know your mother told you to always make sure you're wearing them). And so on.

Stick around and as I pull my gear together for this trip, we'll talk about actually getting it all on the bike. Then, what the heck, I'll see if I can take you along with me via the miracle of the internet. Or, hey, here's an idea. Go load up your own bike and head somewhere fun. South is always good this time of year. That'll be my direction ... soon as I figure out where I put my winter gloves.

Cheers.



* Here's a good one. :)

"Just Rub a Couple Sticks Together..."

If only it was that easy to stay warm on your motorcycle in the winter, right?

If you're like me, you want to ride your motorcycle year-round; none of this parking your baby until spring with gas stabilizer in the tank to keep her from waking up cranky, a plug in the exhaust to keep out the mice, and a nice warm blanky so she knows you still love her even though you've set her aside for the warm, dry cab of your pickemup truck. Of course, you probably also have a strong aversion to shivering, turning blue, and the occasional finger, toe, or other cherished appendage dropping off due to frostbite.

Oklahoma sees its share of cold temperatures -- and more than its share of ice and freezing rain. When there's ice on the roads, leave your bike at home; otherwise, you can ride if you know how to stay warm ... even when it's as cold as the proverbial witch's tit.

While it might not be the Great White North, Oklahoma sees its share of cold temps. This is December 8th of last year ... the number in the lower right is the outdoor temp. Yeah, it does say 8 degrees.

Keep in mind that you're generating your own wind while riding (no, I'm not referring to the gaseous emanations resulting from that chili you ate the night before). The effect commonly known as the wind chill factor will drain the warmth from your body faster than Dracula drains the blood from pretty girls in their nightgowns. For example, if you're riding at 60 mph in 35 degree weather, it's going to seem like it's 17 (reference the chart below), so plan accordingly. (For more information on the effects of wind chill, the National Weather Service maintains a great website here.)

Don't forget the wind chill factor when planning your ride.

How long you plan to ride is also important when choosing between your motorcycle or the embarrassment of borrowing the wife's minivan. My commute to work is less than 15 minutes in duration, allowing me to ride when many of my friends who have an hour-long ride are forced to seek alternate means of transportation (i.e., a vehicle in which I will not wave back when we pass). When traveling in extreme temperatures, plan for more frequent stops. You need to get off the bike and move around to keep your blood circulating. Don't expect to be able to match the distances you covered when riding in more temperate months.

What type of bike you've chosen is also a factor. It's much easier for me to stay warm on my sport-touring bike than my dualsport, because on the sportbike I have all that plastic to hide behind and the fairing naturally directs all the engine heat up toward my body. A cruiser with no windscreen leaves your upper body completely exposed. Both a cruiser and a half-faired bike will leave your lower extremities to the wind's not-so-tender mercies.

Independence Pass, Colorado. 12,095 feet and a balmy 32 degrees.

Of course, the most important thing to consider is the gear you wear. While leather is excellent for blocking the wind, in my experience most textile (i.e., Cordura and the like) jackets and overpants are better insulated. Generally, textile gear also features waterproof liners. Trust me, the only thing worse than being cold on your motorcycle is being cold and wet. In extreme temperatures, wearing rain gear over your regular gear will also aid in blocking the wind. It goes without saying that you should dress in layers. I prefer natural wool undergarments: they breathe well, retain warmth even when wet, and I've never seen a sheep shivering. The current crop of high-tech synthetic materials are also good, but make sure you find something that breathes well. You want the sweat that you generate to pass back out through the garment; otherwise you've got a layer of damp air trapped against your skin, working against you.

Gloves should be well insulated, but not so thick and cumbersome that you can't work the controls. An advantage to most dualsport or adventure bikes is the handguards, which not only keep you from snapping fingers against tree limbs, but also block much of the wind. Gloves with a gauntlet will seal off the sleeves of your jacket, keeping cold air from finding your armpits.

A scarf or muffler is a must, not only for its insulating value, but in order to block cold air that might otherwise find its way under the chin of your helmet. I prefer a balaclava, which goes over my head, completely covers my lower face, and then tucks under the collar of my jacket. I bought mine years ago at a local Harley-Davidson shop and it claims to be made of "turtle fur" ... I don't even want to know what part of the turtle yields fur!

Today in Oklahoma, 22 degrees. Snow and ice on the ground present a challenge that'll definitely help keep you warm.

Most riders who spend a lot of time out in the cold wisely invest in electric warmth. Having used one for years, I can tell you that an electric vest is the ticket. Gerbing, Widder, or any other major brand will serve you well. I like the high, heated collar on my Widder vest, as it keeps the blood that pumps through the major arteries in my neck nice and toasty. The Widder also has electric sleeves that snap on and off. Though I own a set of the sleeves (as well as the gloves which connect to the sleeves), I've found that I rarely need them. If you maintain your body's core temperature by using the vest, your heart will keep sending warm blood out to your extremities. What happens with hypothermia is that the blood vessels in the extremities constrict in order to restrict blood flow and conserve body heat in the organs. This leads to frostbite, which is definitely not a good thing. Keep that warm blood pumping and you'll be fine.

The electric gloves I own (Widder) are thick and cumbersome, nearly impossible to ride with, so I don't use them. What I do swear by are heated grips. Though some manufacturers (BMW and Triumph come immediately to mind) offer heated grips on their bikes, they're generally an expensive option -- usually in the 200 dollar range. I've had good luck with the inexpensive filament type, the kind where the heating element is embedded in a mylar or plastic sheet that adheres to the handlebars, under the rubber grips. These generally cost only 25 or 30 dollars and are worth every penny. Wiring is straightforward and uncomplicated. Though the bars do tend to act as something of a heat-sink (especially on the clutch side), this type of heated grip delivers enough heat into the palm of your hand to keep you comfortable without having to resort to thick, unwieldy gloves. Don't get me wrong, the heated grips in which the heating element is embedded in the grip itself definitely perform better (I had a set on my Triumph Tiger a couple years ago and loved them) and are more durable (the exposed wires on the cheaper type eventually wear out), but in my opinion the benefits don't warrant the difference in cost.

Like any other electrical accessory you plan to install on your motorcycle, you'll need to compare the power requirements with the available wattage provided by your bike's alternator. The vest will require some sort of quick disconnect or DC outlet (I prefer the BMW-type sockets). Your wiring should be capable of carrying the necessary current without suffering a meltdown and should be fused. Switched power (power that is only on when the key to your bike is switched on) is always best; you don't want to find your battery dead some morning because you forgot to turn off your heated grips.

A BMW power outlet mounted in the fairing of my Kawasaki ZZR1200. Also note the hi/lo/off switch for my heated grips.

Another power outlet mounting option: this one is mounted in an aluminum plate near my passenger peg.

Yet another: this one is tucked away on the handlebars of my BMW Dakar.

The vest will require a power cord suited to the type of connection you've chosen. The cord will need a means of controlling the vest. While many riders prefer a thermostat, I've found that a simple on/off switch is sufficient. Typically, if it's cold enough to wear the vest, I've got it turned on all the time. If I get too warm, it's easy enough to switch the vest off for a few minutes.

Be sure and check the alternator output of your motorcycle before adding accessories. My CRF, for instance, doesn't have the wattage to power much.

Let me conclude with a few safety-related comments about riding in cold temperatures. Aside from the obvious danger of hypothermia and freezing off the family jewels, you should keep several other things in mind.

Those sticky tires that allowed you to drag pegs through the corners this past summer? They will take much, much longer to reach operating temperature in the cold. In fact, they will never perform as they did when it was warmer. Take it easy for the first couple of miles when you start, and even after your tires have warmed up, be careful of sliding. If road crews have been out recently scattering sand because of winter ice, be wary. Sometimes that stuff can linger on the road for weeks or longer, especially if we haven't had much rain.

Be prepared to have far more trouble with your helmet visor fogging up: invest in some anti-fog spray, peel-off strips, or a fog-free visor (one of the reasons I love my Scorpion helmet is its fog-free visor).

And last, but certainly not least, be extra vigilant when it comes to our 4-wheeled friends on Oklahoma's highways. Most people are too lazy in the winter to scrape all the ice from their windows or wait for their defroster to do its job (generally preferring to squint unsafely through a small hole they've chiseled in the ice), their own windows are fogging (especially side and rear windows), and they're probably paying even less attention to their driving than usual.

With the proper gear, attitude, and attention to safety, there's no reason you can't ride all year round. So what are you waiting for? Winter be damned, let's ride!